I am 7 weeks today! Still not much to report, other than being tired and a little nauseous. Both of those symptoms are typically in the evening, although I do get a little nauseous first thing in the morning until I eat something. My appetite has been great during the day, until dinner time. Then my body goes into "nothing sounds or smells good" mode. So I usually just have something light or chicken noodle soup. Poor Shawn is probably not going to get a home-cooked dinner for a little while!
We have another ultrasound this coming Thursday. I can't wait to see how much bigger baby Kirby has gotten and hear the strong heartbeat! I look forward to this every week now! My fertility doctor wants me to start seeing an OB before they release me. So I have my first OB appointment on July 9th, just as a new patient checkup. I am actually not looking forward to being released from my fertility clinic. First of all, I have been spoiled with these weekly ultrasounds. Once I am released to the OB, I'll only have maybe 1 ultrasound per month! :-( (Side note: I am considering renting a doppler fetal monitor so we can hear the heartbeat at home, in-between ultrasounds.) Also, I'm really going to miss the staff at HFI. They have been so wonderful to us, and I am so grateful to them for helping us to finally get pregnant! But I'll see them again in a few years when we're ready to try for baby #2!
Here is baby Kirby's 7 week developmental update:
The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long,about the size of a blueberry.
If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.
Lord, thank You for another week of blessings and new life. Please continue to watch over our growing baby as we go into a new week with new developments. We are forever grateful for your mercy and grace. All the power and glory is Yours, God, now and forever. Amen.
Today we saw and heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time, at 6 weeks & 4 days! It was such a wonderful moment! Yes... I cried! Life is such a miracle! We are so thankful to God for our little blessing!
In the videos below, you will first see a black circle, which is the gestational sac. Inside the sac, at the bottom, you will see a little white flutter. That is the heartbeat! We were also able to hear it (in the first video below)! You will see the heartbeat appear below the sound waves and solid white line, at the very bottom of the screen, in the form of little white splotches, moving from left to right. Every time you see a white splotch, you will hear a faint "whoosh". That whooshing sound is the heartbeat! It's really hard to hear, so you have to turn your volume all the way up. And watch for the white blobs. Enjoy!
So we've made it to 6 weeks! There's really not a lot to report. I still have some nausea from time to time and get pretty tired in the late afternoons/early evenings. But, other than that, this pregnancy has been pretty uneventful so far. And I plan on keeping it that way! At least until the heartbeat ultrasound on Wednesday! Here is the 6-week status on Baby Kirby:
This week starts a period of rapid cellular development for your baby-to-be, who looks like a mini tadpole, with a tiny head and tail. His or her eyes, ears and mouth have begun to form (though they're a little more Discovery Channel "creatures of the sea" documentary than Gerber Baby at this point).
Other exciting milestones include:
- Your baby's heart is now beating to a regular beat.
- His or her arm buds are just beginning to, well, bud. They look like teensy swollen bumps at this point. In a few days, they'll resemble itsy-bitsy flippers.
- Your baby has grown to ⅛ inch long—about the size of one of the chocolate sprinkles on a cupcake.
Fetal Development at 6 weeks Note: This is not Baby Kirby. Looks like an alien, doesn't it??
Dear God, please watch over our "little sprinkle". Please allow him or her grow healthy & strong. We thank You for Your many blessings, but most especially for this little miracle. All the power and glory is Yours, now and forever. Amen.
We had our first ultrasound today! Shawn & I were both very excited to find out how many babies we would be having. I was very nervous about finding out. Actually, it was probably more like eager anticipation. Here is a video and a screen shot of what we saw:
We are pregnant with 1 healthy little Kirby baby! We are 5 weeks and 5 days today, and the baby is due February 16th. He/she is right on target in growth and development. And, even better news... we get to see the heartbeat next Wednesday (6/27)! We are so excited and blessed beyond measure! To God be the glory!! Amen.
This afternoon, when I received my lab results, I had a moment of concern. As you may recall, my HCG level on Monday was 2706. Today it was 3068, which means it only increased a little over 300 units in 72 hours. I emailed my nurse asking if the HCG levels even matter anymore, now that we have moved on to ultrasounds. She responded that they will continue to monitor my HCG until it reaches 5000. She said, for some reason, sometimes it's a slow process reaching the 5000 mark (which is normal), and they are primarily just watching the ultrasounds to determine growth & development on a weekly basis from now on. She also said that, as long as we see a fetal heartbeat between 6 and 7 weeks (next week), they are happy. I am so relieved that she put my fears to rest. So I've decided to be happy and try not to worry from here on out... haha! Easier said than done, but I'll do my best!!
I just want to say a little prayer for our little angel embryo... Dear Lord, I pray that our lost little bean has found its way safely into your arms. Please protect it and keep it safe in your kingdom. I look forward to the day when we can be reunited in your Heavenly House. Thank you for leaving its sibling behind and allowing it to enjoy this world with us. Your blessings are overflowing and undeserved by us. All the power and glory is yours, now and forever. Amen.
So, tonight I got to see the sweetest, most beautiful nieces in the whole wide world... Ruby & Mable!! We enjoyed eating some Chick-fil-a together, playing with toys, reading books, and practicing their news words like "baby", "water", & "nana" (banana). They are just growing up too fast!
Mable & Ruby also gave their baby cousin(s) its/their very first baby gift! We got some white onesies, in a variety of sizes. Aunt Melissa is going to monogram them once we know the name(s). And we got a little plush baby book! I almost thought the girls didn't want to give the book back for a while. Haha! It was a great night! There is nothing like spending time with precious family to brighten your day. :-)
So, if you remember from my post on Friday, I was pretty concerned about my 2nd beta of 445. All weekend long, I just rested and took it easy. Although I could never shake the nervous feeling I had. I was terrified that the numbers either wouldn't increase significantly or they would start to go down. I was feeling pretty yucky yesterday. Shawn and I went out to eat for Father's Day, and all I could manage to do after that was go to the grocery store with him to pick up a few things before heading home. I just felt nauseous, bloated, tired... you know the drill. So I was hoping that was a good sign that things were progressing nicely.
This morning, it was a typical Monday morning. I forgot my phone at home and had to turn around on my way to work to get it. Work was crazy. And it didn't help that I was still a nervous wreck about my bloodwork today. Literally TERRIFIED. So I went to have blood drawn around 11am. The nurse said they would put the results on my patient portal soon after. 12:30 went by... 1:00... 1:30... Finally at 2:00 I saw they had posted my results: 2706!!! I was shocked and thrilled! I couldn't believe it! I immediately texted Shawn (who is in Alaska through Wednesday) and my family. They were overjoyed at the news! Shawn replied" Holy crap, baby, we're pregnant. I love you." So sweet! And the best news is that we get to have our first ultrasound on Thursday to see how many babies there are! It's still too early to see or hear heartbeat(s), but I will be so happy just to see something!
This weekend was a true test of my faith. I failed a LOT! But I always came back around to praying to God and giving him control (which He already has anyway!). Thank you, God, for this miracle and blessing. You are so good, and I am so undeserving. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Amen.
Happy Father's Day to my Father of 34-1/2 years! Dad, I couldn't imagine being raised by a better Father! Thank you for being the world's greatest Dad!!
And Happy Father's Day to the Daddy-to-be, Shawn! You are going to be such a wonderful Father!!
Shawn's 1st Father's Day card
This is the card he is reading in the video below...
And, in case you didn't see the video from the "Best Day Ever" post from last weekend, here is Shawn finding out he is going to be a Daddy...
I am one of the biggest worrywarts that I know! Tonight, for some reason, I really started to get anxious about my beta on Monday. Will it be a significant increase? Did it drop?? How many babies are there? Are they still doing ok?? I think these are all normal concerns during early pregnancy, especially in the first few weeks. I once read that 50% of all first-time pregnancies end in miscarriage, and it has haunted me ever since. My own mother lost her first pregnancy at around 11 weeks, I believe. So it's hard not to be concerned that this may happen to me as well.
In my tear-filled moment of panic, I decided to start researching success stories for women who had slow-rising betas in their early pregnancies. I found all kinds of inspiring stories online. Some women started out on their first beta as low as 47. Then, on the second beta, it only increased to maybe 68 within 48 hours. And the 3rd beta was maybe no higher than 100 another 48 hours after that. And, the crazy part is, those same women went on to have successful pregnancies -- some even having twins & triplets! So it just goes to show that betas are merely numbers and do not always have the final say. Only God does. One woman said "I have learned through all of this that not all healthy pregnancies are "textbook". As long as your betas are steadily increasing, it is a good sign!!" And, upon seeing her 4th beta finally take a huge jump, another woman said "I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard me cry."
Here are a few quotes I found when I googled "faith in God":
"Keep praying, but be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your prayers." "Calmness is the way we show that we are trusting God." "Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything. All it does is taint your mind and steal your joy." "You can't have joy without peace, and there is no peace without God."
I have decided to turn my worries over to God. He is the only one in control of this situation, so I must have faith that He is going to take care of us. Looking back on last Saturday, when I got my first positive pregnancy test, I remember hearing God say to me "Now it is time to be happy." I am going to take Him at his Word and do just that. :-)
I went in for my 2nd beta today. While I was getting my blood drawn, I asked the tech if someone would be letting me know when they think my first ultrasound would be. She said that they were anticipating it would probably be the following Tuesday or Wednesday. I was in shock!! I did not expect it to be so soon! I figured it would be at least another 2-3 weeks away, since a heartbeat cannot usually be detected until around week 7 or so. At the first ultrasound, they will be able to see how many sacs there are. Eeeeeek! This is the best news I've heard all day and gives me something to look forward to!
Around 1pm, I got the phone call... my nurse said my HCG level is 445. I was a little concerned about that number because they wanted me to at least be 450, which is a 60% increase from the previous beta. The nurse told me that it is still a good number and that an increase like that is what they like to see. She told me not to be concerned about 5 little points and not to put so much stock in the numbers. An ultrasound is what is going to tell them the most about the viability and status of the pregnancy. Betas are merely guidelines that give them an earlier indication of how everything is going, but they are by no means an exact science. She said she sees low or slowly-rising betas all the time that result in a successful pregnancy. The only time a beta result might be of concern is if the numbers start dropping or do not increase significantly. And that's what they watch for. Apparently my increase was significant enough that they are happy with it.
They want to do another beta on Monday to check my levels again after 72 hours. She said she anticipates my level being over 1000 at that point, which is high enough for the embryonic sac to be viewed on an ultrasound. She thinks maybe the first ultrasound might be as soon as Tuesday or Wednesday, just like the phlebotomist told me earlier today! Unfortunately, Shawn will be in Alaska for work next week from Monday through Wednesday. So I am hoping we will be able do it on Thursday when he is back. For now, I am just going to pray that my levels continue to increase over the weekend. I plan on getting lots of rest between now and Monday, in hopes that maybe it will help my body do what it needs to do -- whatever that is! And lots of praying praying praying...
Today I went in for my first blood pregnancy test, aka "beta". This is where they measure the amount of HCG in my system. HCG is the pregnancy hormone. Honestly, I was hoping for a level of at least 100. Anything below that level can sometimes be concerning, although can end up being normal.
I got the call a little after 1pm with the results. My nurse said "Your level is 283! Congratulations!" I said "Are you serious?? You are going to make me cry!", at which point I did cry a little. She said "It's ok to cry! This is your day!" I was so relieved to hear that number. The nurse said that I will need to increase by at least 60% on Friday, at my next beta. This would put me at around 450 or so. I am a little nervous, but very hopeful that the numbers will be in our favor. Praying praying praying...
So the dogs woke me up at 7am this morning, and I decided that I might as well try one of my cheapo pregnancy tests. What's the harm, right? It was only 88 cents, so I wouldn't worry about the wasted cost. And if it was negative, I would just tell myself that it's a day too early and I'd try again tomorrow with the digital test. So, I took the test and had to wait at least 3 minutes for the result. I sat in my bathroom chair right in front of the test, closed my eyes, and just prayed: "Lord, please let this test be positive! I am so ready to be a mommy! If the test is negative, I will have faith in Your timing and trust that my time is coming soon. Amen." I prayed continuously for the whole 3 minutes. When I opened my eyes and looked at the test, I saw something I have never seen before in my life... a 2nd line!!!
2 lines!!
Happy tears started streaming down my face! I was overjoyed and in disbelief! I literally bawled for several minutes right there in the bathroom. I could not believe what I was seeing! Immediately, I fell to my knees and began to thank God over and over and over for this miracle. And, in my heart and my head, I heard God reply "Now it is time to be happy!" I smiled through my tears upon hearing that. After being so sad and frustrated for the last 4 years of infertility, I would finally have the peace and happiness that I've been seeking! I picked up the phone and called Shawn. After 1/2 a ring, I instantly hung up. I knew this was not the way I wanted to tell Shawn that he was going to be a Daddy. I decided I would surprise him somehow when he got home that evening. Knowing that Shawn had to be the first person to hear the news, I was bursting to tell someone but I couldn't. So I paced all throughout the house, trying to walk off my excess energy, repeating over and over "WOW! I can't believe it! WOW! I can't believe it!" My heart was racing 90 miles a minute. I was breathing so hard that I was almost hyperventilating for half an hour. Then the hot flashes started. I kept going back to the bathroom, too many times to count, to look at the test again and make sure the line was still there. I kissed each little bean in the picture we had received of the blastocysts after the embryo transfer. Then I went into the bedroom, hugged each one of our dogs, and told them they were going to be brothers and a sister! Yes, I know, I told them before I told Shawn... but they pinky swore that their muzzles were sealed! Then about 2-1/2 hours after I took the first test, I decided to try out the digital test, just to see "how pregnant" I really was...
Bingo!
After I was able to calm down a little bit, I ventured out to pick up a few things for Shawn's "Daddy surprise". I wanted to get him a card and a onesie or bib that said "I love Daddy" on it. Walmart really didn't have a good selection of baby apparel or Daddy-to-be cards, but I picked up 12 more 88-cent pregnancy tests while I was there. Yes, I am going to take those tests until my little heart is content! Why not?? As I left Walmart, I was really starting to feel pretty crummy. So I decided I would make 2 more stops for the card and baby item. I first stopped at Academy and found a 12-month Houston Cougars t-shirt, which I figured Shawn would like even better than the Daddy theme. Next I stopped at CVS and found a Daddy-to-be card. Then I got home and pretty much crashed for the rest of the day until Shawn got home. I was so tired!!
So I kept texting and calling Shawn to see when he would be home. His first response was "Did you take a pregnancy test??" I said "No, I just want to know what time to have dinner ready." Yes I lied, but the surprise was still on! And we all know surprises trump lying any day! First he said he would be home at 6pm, then at 7:30... before I knew it, he was rolling in the door at a little past 9pm!! Mind you, that is 14 HOURS after I got my positive this morning! That is a long time for this girl to keep news as big as this to myself! Once Shawn got settled in, I asked him to get something down from the top shelf in our closet. I followed him through the bathroom on his way to the closet, where he stopped to find his surprise. And, yes, I got it all on video...
Priceless!
After Shawn found out he is going to be a Daddy, it was time to announce to Megan that she would be an aunt...
Aunt Megan gets a surprise!
Now for the Martin grandparents' surprise...
Grammy & Papa Ron are excited!
Next in line... Shawn's mom and Grandmother... (unfortunately, we were only able to get a short snipit of this conversation)...
Grandma & Great Grandma!
And, last but not least, Aunt Melissa & Uncle Eric...
Yayyyyyyy!
I love that I was able to capture all of our loved ones' reactions on video so we can always look back on this day with fond memories! The only one I was not able to get on video was Shawn's dad. He called Shawn back when I wasn't around, but his dad was just as thrilled as the others at this Grandpa news!
As you can tell, this was the best day EVER! I have said this before in other posts, and I will continue to say it... we do not know what the future holds for us. From the bottom of our hearts, we want nothing more than a perfect pregnancy and birth. But life is not a guarantee. All we can do is hope & pray that the next 9 months goes smoothly and safely. And it is still very early, as I am only 4 weeks along today. However, we have thoroughly enjoyed celebrating the possibility of a new life (or lives!) and our first ever positive pregnancy tests! God is so good!!!
I felt horrible all day at work today. I have had all of the classic pregnancy symptoms: lower back aches, mild headache, frequent potty breaks, mild nausea, heavy cramping, very bloated, easily out of breath after walking short distances, and SO tired!! I really feel like something is going on, and this is the first day I would say that I actually FEEL pregnant.
My mom is still in town, staying at my brother's house, so I decided to go over and visit for a little while after work. I just felt downright awful the whole time! I hung around for a few hours, but finally had to throw in the towel and go home. I am bushed! On the way home, I stopped at CVS and picked up a couple of digital pregnancy tests. I plan on taking one on Sunday morning, at which time I will be 9dp5dt (which = 14dpo) and should have a pretty clear answer of whether I am pregnant or not. Digital tests are known to be less sensitive than other tests, so if I'm really pregnant, the digital test will not lie!
Shawn left after work today to go deep sea fishing in Freeport tomorrow with Carlos, Louie, and some other guys. I think I might actually take one of my cheapie pregnancy tests in the morning, just to satisfy my curiosity. It may still be too early, so I am preparing myself that it could be negative. Trying to stay hopeful though... :-)
Ok, so this post is going to be very short and random. But I'm taking a break today from blogging about IVF and baby stuff.
In case you haven't seen this video before, or even if you have, I'm posting it for your viewing pleasure. It's so stupid, but cracks me up every time. Enjoy! :-)
I am 1dp5dt, which means 1 day past 5 day transfer... for those of you needing translation. :-) It's been about 34 hours since we arrived home yesterday from the embryo transfer. I started cramping a few hours after we got home, and it really hasn't stopped since. In fact, it has gotten heavier since then. Apparently, the embryos can start implanting within 24-48 hours of the transfer. I know yesterday would be too early for implantation to start happening, but I know today that might be what I am feeling. Come on, little beans! Find a spot and burrow in!!
I seriously didn't think bed rest was going to be this hard! Normally, all I ever do on the weekends is lay around on my laptop anyway. But there is something about having to lay on your back for hours on end, only getting up to go to the restroom, that will drive you insane! And talk about killing your back! I have major sympathy for those on constant bed rest during pregnancy or for patients in the hospital. I give you mad props! Luckily, I know how to kill plenty of time online. Shawn has been a great help today. He even brought me breakfast in bed this morning! It was delicious! I could get used to that... but I won't! ;-)
So, I have 1 more day of bed rest before I go back to work Monday morning. Never in a million years did I think I would say this, but I am almost ready to go back! Not because I miss the work, but I am hoping it helps the time pass faster. I haven't confirmed it yet, but I believe the blood pregnancy test (aka "beta") will be on June 15th. So I have a little less than 2 weeks to obsess about whether or not I think this procedure worked. Fun fun! I may be able to take a test at home this coming Friday (7dp5dt) or the following Monday (10dp5dt). HCG can be detected in the body around 9dp5dt, which would be Sunday. So, either way, I may have some kind of indication by then. We will see! *tick tock tick tock tick tock*
On Monday, I go in for a blood test to check my progesterone level. I am currently using progesterone inserts to help make sure my body has enough of the hormone. I have to use those 3 times per day until the beta or, if pregnant, until further notice. On Monday, I will start the estrogen pills and patches. The patch goes on my stomach and is changed out every 3rd day. And I will take one estrogen pill 3 times per day as well. I have several alerts set on my phone for when it's time to do my progesterone and estrogen pills/patches. Seems like there is always an alert going off, since I am taking the progesterone now and finishing up some prednisone twice a day from before the transfer. I'm like a walking drug store!
On a side note, I thought I would share a completely unrelated picture from this evening. When I changed the bedding the other night, in anticipation of my 3 days of bed rest, I did not have an extra pillowcase for Shawn. So he has been using it sans pillowcase for a few nights. Tonight, I came back to the bedroom from the couch, and I saw this propped up on the bed:
Yes, that is his undershirt. There are 2 of them on there, turned different ways. And, despite the way it looks, he says they are clean. I guess he was improvising. I just hope our kids have Shawn's sense of humor and resourcefulness! :-)
Soooo... today was the day! We arrived at the surgical center at 10:30am. I had to start drinking 3 bottles of water as soon as I sat down to make sure I had a full bladder by 11:30. The nurse brought me back about 11:10 to take my vitals and have me take my prescription-strength Ibuprofin & Valium. Then we both got dressed in our Sunday best... :-)
After that, Dr. Griffith came in to discuss the latest embryology report with us. Of the 12 embryos we had on Day 3 (Wednesday), what we have remaining on Day 5 (today) is: 6 blastocysts, 3 morulas, and 3 were discarded due to lack of development. The 3 morulas will be watched through tomorrow to see if they develop into blastocysts as well. Those that do will be frozen. Those that do not will be discarded. So then it was time to decide how many blastocysts we wanted to transfer. Dr. Griffith said that we had 2 scenarios: 1) If we transferred 1 blast, we would have a 60% chance of becoming pregnant. 2) If we transferred 2 blasts, we would have a 70% chance of becoming pregnant and a 33% chance of having twins. So, at that point, we had a BIG decision to make. 1 or 2? We thought about it for a few minutes and decided we would "go big or go home!". (That means 2!) The reason we chose 2 is because this procedure is so expensive. If it does not work, we would have to spend more money to try it again with the frozen embryos. It's not near as much money as the IVF, but it's extra money that we do not have right now. So we figured we might as well give ourselves the best chance we can now. And, if God decides to give us twins, then it is meant to be! He will only give us as much as we can handle! Pictured below are our 2 blastocysts, or "little beans" (as I have been calling them all day)...
Next, we were lead into the surgical room, which is right next to the embryology lab. As soon as I was set up on the table and in the stirrups (sorry for the visual), Dr. Griffith had to make sure he had the ultrasound set up to see my uterus clearly and to make sure he was using the right-sized catheter. Shawn was able to sit next to me the entire time, which was wonderful for me and that he got to experience it all in-person. After a few minutes, the embryologist brought Dr. Griffith our 2 little beans. The catheter was inserted, and the little beans were deposited safety into my uterus. Circled in the picture below is a white line, which is the pocket of air that the embryos are in. Dr. Griffith said it looks like a beautiful shooting star because it went perfectly! The embryos are of course too microscopic at this point to see with the naked eye, even on an ultrasound. The long, white line above the circle is the separation between my bladder and uterus. The reason that my bladder had to be full was so it would push down on my uterus and make it easier for Dr. Griffith to reach. Speaking of a full bladder... I had to lay down for 30 minutes after the procedure to give the embryos time to settle. I have not had to pee that badly in a long time!!! When I finally got dressed, I was sprinting to the bathroom! I didn't think I would make it in time! Haha! But seriously... The moment the embryos were inserted, my emotions took over and I broke into tears. Not to worry -- they were happy tears! It was like the culmination of the last 4 years of trying to have a baby was finally coming together. What a miracle! I am so blessed to have such an amazing opportunity in my life! Just to think that there are now 2 little lives snuggled in my body trying to grab ahold of their future is amazing! Like I've said before, I don't know what the future holds. We won't even know for 2 more weeks if our little beans are going to make it. But I will pray, without ceasing, that God will take care of them and have faith that He is in control. Amen.
