With 2013 almost upon us, I thought I might take a moment to reflect on 2012. In January, we knew we would be getting ready for a roller coaster fertility ride. We had plans to do IVF, which required that I have a hysteroscopy performed first. This outpatient procedure would check for polyps and other obstructions in my uterus that might prevent a successful pregnancy from taking place. My doctor did not find any polyps, but he did see that I had a bicornuate uterus (aka "heart-shaped uterus") as seen below:
He basically just shaved the tissue away to make my uterus shaped more like the regularly-shaped uterus, as see above. As invasive as it sounds, I was only out-of-commission for the day of the procedure and was back at work the next day.
In February, we had our first IVF consultation and injection training, which was required prior to starting treatment. Since we had not had Shawn's sperm analyzed in a year, we also decided to get him tested the same day to make sure that his numbers had not gotten worse. While we were in the injection training with the nurse, the sperm analysis results were brought in. The nurse stopped the training momentarily to glance at the results and briefly discuss them with us. His morphology had increased from 1% (very low) in 2011 to 4% (normal range)! We were shocked! At that point, we started questioning if maybe we should try IUI again, as it is a much cheaper procedure than IVF. We explained to the nurse that we thought we might indeed switch gears and go for IUI instead of IVF. Shawn & I agreed to try no more than 3 IUI attempts before revisiting the IVF process. Honestly, I was a little disappointed, as IUI success rates are typically much lower than IVF. But, if it could save us a lot of money, then I needed to give it a try. Plus, I wanted to give Shawn's "guys" a chance to prove themselves -- haha!
So we did an unmedicated IUI cycle in March. When I went in for my pregnancy test, the nurse called with the results, saying that my hcg level was only 5.99. Typically, anything over 5 is sometimes considered a positive result. So, while this was almost the lowest possible positive result I could have gotten, they wanted to re-test me the next day to see if my levels increased. Unfortunately, my hcg went down to 3.85, which meant that it was probably a chemical loss. I was devastated and sad, but not ready to give up. We did another IUI cycle in April, but opted to include Gonal-F injections to increase our chances. Unfortunately, that cycle ended in a negative result. I know I had told Shawn that we would do 3 IUI cycles before returning to IVF, but I couldn't take the IUI disappointment again. I just wasn't strong enough at that point. So we decided to proceed full steam ahead in May to do IVF. I finally felt a hope during this process that I had never experienced before. I finally felt in-control!
As you well know, the IVF was indeed a success! The 2nd half of 2012 had turned out to be such a blessing! Every day, every milestone, every growing bump pic just made me feel more and more blessed in my life. And, here it is, almost 2013... just 7 weeks or so away from Blake's arrival! I am so thankful everyday to God for this precious gift. I thank Him for giving me the patience (what little I had) and determination to keep trying. He knew I would be a mother one day -- I just needed to show Him a little bit of faith. And it was so worth the wait! One of my favorite sayings throughout this process has become "Never give up on something you can't go one day without thinking about". I was never going to give up on my quest to be a mother, no matter how it would happen. I pray daily for all of the women who have the same dream but have not been able to conceive thus far. I hope that they never give up and do whatever it takes to make their dream a reality. And, most of all, I pray that God gives them the resources and faith to make it happen. Amen.
How I’m Changing
Total weight gain: 15 lbs (0 lbs gained since last week)
Maternity clothes? yes
Stretch marks? no
Sleep: having more vivid dreams, but sleeping throughout the night, with occasional potty breaks
Best moment this week: Christmas with the family!
Miss Anything? moscato
Movement: sometimes I think she plays ping-pong in there!
Food cravings: sugar-free chocolate candy (at least it's sugar free!)
Anything making you queasy or sick: no
Anything making you queasy or sick: no
Gender: girl
Symptoms: swollen feet & ankles, moody (especially at work)... the usual
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? off
Happy or Moody most of the time: take a wild guess... ;-)
Looking forward to: ringing in 2013! what a great year it will be!!
Blake Alexis Kirby Week 33 Update:
Your baby's the size of a durian fruit! She weighs about 4.2 to 5.8 pounds and measures about 17.2 to 18.7 inches. And she may grow up to a full inch this week -- amazing. Things are heating up inside as well: Baby may grow up to a full inch this week alone, and her brain is developing like crazy. Pretty soon, she'll be able to coordinate breathing with sucking and swallowing. Also, her bones are hardening, and she's started to keep her eyes open when she's awake.
